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  Chapter Five

  It was a good thirty minutes of riding later, and Carmen was mentally replaying everything her father had done in the past few months, trying to find something, anything, that stood out as odd, but there was nothing. She still lived inside the ‘Hotel Italy’, close to him, but truly, she hadn’t spent much quality time with him in almost a year. She’d thought life had gotten busy, her career more demanding, but was there more to it than that?

  She was angry. She wasn’t sure at who, only that her life was falling apart, and the only two people who’d felt like family – her father and Shi – were both in jeopardy of being stripped away from her forever. Deep down, she’d always hoped for, well, hope. She’d thought somehow, someway, they’d both be in her world. It was a fairy tale story, but for years she’d gone to bed at night, dreaming that tale. Now she realized she had never really given up on it, even if she hadn’t allowed herself to think about it anymore.

  Carmen stared out her window, unable to look at Shi, trying to suppress the emotions expanding inside her, knowing he could feel what she did, and staring at the highway, without seeing it. At some point, she’d told herself Shi wasn’t her mate, or he wouldn’t have been able to stay away. So why now, in his presence, did she feel they were mates, clear to her soul? Why did this fire between them exist, why did it resemble the mating heat she’d always heard about, and yearned for with Shi? Her parents had loved each other, lived for each other, and so did ever other mated couple she knew. But Shi had been matched with a rebel and they’d hated each other. So being mates meant what? Hot sex with another wolf who may mean nothing else to you? Why did she want to be mated then? No, thank you. If she couldn’t have love, she’d be alone.

  The vehicle hit a gravel road and Carmen glanced up to find they were pulling into a secluded ranch property just outside the city limits. Her gaze cut to the left to find Shi still propped against the window, staring at her. She squeezed her eyes shut against his probing inspection and refocused on the huge white house and the three large warehouse looking buildings off in the distance, beyond it. This was where Shi housed his mercenaries, or whatever they were. This was his world.

  Carmen glanced at the driver she’d barely noticed until now, who had a wavy brown hair and a strong forearms, with sunglasses hiding his face. She wondered what he thought of what he’d heard in the backseat, but imagined he’d been paid well enough to not care.

  “Could my father be controlled by magic?” she asked, without looking at Shi. “He had magic used on him to stop him from dying when my mother died. He’ll live his life with a spell cast on him. How can we know that hasn’t made him susceptible in some way?”

  This was where he had to tell her things she wouldn’t want to hear. “The leader of the Benedanti, Ariel,” he explained, “who I know you know from his involvement with Nico and the Guard, says that the magic used to stop the death of a living creature isn’t used for a reason. It’s poison. It eats away at the person and turns them into something you don’t recognize. For some it would be quickly. For another, someone ancient and powerful like your father, the drain of his true self could be much slower, but not avoidable.”

  She shook her head. “No. No. That’s not possible. I’d know. I’d feel it.”

  “Alexander won’t let you see or feel anything he doesn’t want you to. You have to know this.”

  The Escalade pulled to a stop and he felt the desperation rising inside Carmen. “Maybe the rebels are threatening the Society or maybe they are threatening me. They did show up at the mall today. After losing my mother, maybe he’s afraid of losing me.”

  “Which is why you’re here, Carmen.”

  She paled instantly. “Because you’re going to use me against him, just like the rebels might be.”

  “Let’s go inside and talk.”

  Tears prickled at her eyes and she was instantly angry – at her weakness, at Shi. At the world. “You mean let’s go inside so I can be interrogated. Sure. Let’s.” She turned away and shoved open the door and climbed out of the truck.

  Shi was by her side in a flash, the driver not far behind him, and she didn’t wait to be ordered towards the building. Carmen marched forward, seeking an escape from Shi, when there was nowhere to go, but she didn’t miss the way the other wolf trailed in his wake.

  “Get me an update on the rebels,” Shi ordered the other wolf. “And make sure Kole knows what happened back there.”

  Carmen kept moving forward, thankful Shi was clearing the way for them to be alone, or so she hoped. Shi was king here, she sensed that, and she was the king’s captive. It scared her that on some level being his captive appealed to her. How much she wanted him, when he was using her to get to her father. He wasn’t a traitor. He was working for the Guard, but he wasn’t her protector anymore either, her confidant. He was, however, her mate, and even with that bond, he’d ignored her for five years. That hurt. This hurt. She was so full of hurt and anger she thought she might explode. She needed to be alone with Shi, so she could let loose, away from his pack, where she didn’t dare challenge him.

  Just when Carmen thought she might make it to the porch and escape further scrutiny, a tall man moved from the side of the porch, leaned against the railing, watching her approach with a cold as ice stare. She could see the flare of his nostrils, knew he smelled her anger, mixed with the damnable lust for his leader she couldn't control, and it made her uneasy. He made her uneasy in a way the driver had not. The driver respected Shi. This wolf, he would rip out Shi’s throat when he wasn’t looking. He was looking for a reason to challenge Shi. She smelled it all over him, and if rumors were true, and Shi hired dangerous wolves no one but him could control, she had reason to be worried.

  Shi was suddenly by her side, his hand on her elbow. He lifted his chin at the other wolf, a silent command, and the wolves posture eased, his entire demeanor shifting and turning to respect. Relief washed over Carmen as the wolf headed down the stairs, away from them by the time Carmen and Shi were on their way up.

  Shi opened the door for Carmen and she didn’t look at him. She entered, aware of him on every possibly level, her skin heating and her body aching. That she couldn’t stop her reaction, her desire, only made her more angry. The instant she cleared the entry, her nostrils flared with the confirmation they were alone.

  Carmen whirled on him the instant the door was shut. “All this time, Shi. All this time you stayed away from me and you dare to come to me now to use me.”

  “If I didn’t come for you now, someone else would have and they wouldn’t have cared how you were treated.”

  “Oh so this was a favor. You’ll interrogate me so no one else will. Gee thanks. I’m sure you’ll be gentle. I guess this ranks right up there with a guy’s version of a mercy fuck.”

  Suddenly, she was pressed against the wall, his hard body framing hers, his breath warm near her lips. “I stayed away to protect you just like I’m here now to protect you.”

  A bitter laugh escaped her lips. “Protect me? Is that what making me feel like I didn’t matter was? Protecting me?”

  A low growl slid from deep in his chest before his mouth slanted down over hers, his tongue sweeping into her mouth with a possessive claiming that had her moaning in response. Instantly consumed, she barely remembered her arms sliding around his neck. Only that she was kissing him back, molding her body to his, desperate as she had never been before. There was nothing but her need for this wolf, and a burn that hurt to her soul. There was only now, without consequence, without thought of what this meant, what tomorrow would bring. Carmen simply needed to feel Shi inside her, filling her, completing her.

  Chapter Six

  His hand slid under her skirt, his touch leaving goosebumps in its wake. He lifted her leg to his hip, his tongue caressing hers, his fingers sliding over her panties and beneath them. She moaned into his mouth. “Has anyone else touched you since I was gone?” he demanded.

  And she wasn’t going to
lie. “If you mean did I try to replace you, you bet I did. And don’t tell me you didn’t do the same.”

  He pulled back to look at her, his eye blazing yellow. “Who?”

  “None of your business.”

  He ripped away her panties and pressed his fingers along the slick sensitive flesh. “You are my business.”

  “Then act like it, Shi.”

  She’d barely gotten the words out her mouth before she was facing the wall, her hands pressed to the surface, and her skirt was being pulled upward, over her body and her head. Her bra was next and she could barely breathe when he pressed into her, framing her with hard muscle, his hands all over her, exploring. Teasing her.

  He palmed her breast with one hand, roughly, deliciously tugging at her nipple, even as he stroked the crevice of her backside, widening her stance with his leg. Some part of her mind knew there was a reason not to do this, but what? There was only the feel of him touching her, and his fingers on her clit, rubbing and caressing.

  His hand slid between her shoulder blades, his mouth to her ear. “Don’t even think about moving.” She inhaled at the order, aroused by him controlling her. So damn aroused she could feel the dampness clinging to her thighs. She could hear him undressing, feel his eyes on her body, raking over her. And she could smell the power he oozed, the hunger he had for her, and her body responded. Her nipples ached and her breasts were heavy.

  He stepped behind her, pressed his cock, thick and hard, between her legs and Carmen squeezed her thighs together, trying to claim him. “Shi,” she whispered, pleading for what she had wanted what seemed forever. But he didn’t. He didn’t claim her. Not yet. He turned her around and lifted her leg.

  “I want to see your face when I enter you,” he told her, pressing his shaft against the V of her body, and then entering her.

  A silent gasp escaped her and she moaned, her lashes lowering. His hand went to her face. “Look at me.”

  Somehow, Carmen did as he demanded. “Who do you belong to?” he asked.

  Through the haze of desire, there came rebellion, she didn’t think possible. “Because you fuck me doesn’t make me yours.”

  “You are mine,” he growled, his mouth closing down on hers, his cock thrusting hard into her body, back and forth. She could feel the possessiveness in his kiss, in the stroke of his cock, in the way his hands explored her body. And her body answered where her words had not. She pressed into him, clung to him, silently begging for more and more, until she shattered, milking his cock with hard quakes of her muscles. Until he too shook and the warm heat of his release filled her.

  “Who do you belong to?” he asked, lifting his head.

  “I told you, damn it. Fucking me isn’t going to make me yours.” She reached up and tore the tie from his hair, letting the waves of raven hair streaked with red fall wildly around his shoulders. “It just makes me wish I was.”

  Shi stared at her, his eyes glistening green and yellow. “Do you want to be mine, Carmen?”

  Her chest tightened and she fought the urge to look at her palm where the mating mark should now be, and seek the proof they were mates, “Since the day I met you, but not like this. Not in the heat of a moment that sticks you with me forever when five years proves that isn’t what you wanted.” She forced her gaze to her hand, looking for the mark.

  Slowly, he eased her up to look for the half shaped crescent moon of the mating mark, and then froze, unable to breathe. It wasn’t there. They weren’t mates. How could that be? “Let me go,” she said, pain and confusion exploding inside her as she shoved at his chest. “Let me go.” He was still inside her. She wanted free. She wanted space. “Let go!”

  “Carmen wait-”

  “Let go!”

  He let her legs slip to the floor and she could feel the damp proof of his release slick between her thighs, a taunt that screamed that they had never been mates, that this was just sex and always had been. Carmen sunk down the wall to the floor, facing the truth of why staying away five years had been so easy for him. He was in front of her in an instant.

  “Listen to me,” he said, pressing his shirt between her legs, and his hand on her face. She was on the floor, naked, his shirt as her towel. How disgraced did she have to get? “Carmen, we’re mates.”

  “I have no mark. We aren’t mates and so now I know why you forgot me so easily.”

  “Baby, I have never forgotten you. I have ached for you every second of every day. I don’t want you to have to choose between me and your father.” His lips thinned and he held up his palm and showed her a strange circle design etched. “It’s temporary Benedanti magic meant to stop mating.”

  Her eyes went wide and her chest exploded with pain. “What? What does that even mean?”

  “I wasn’t letting someone else be here, dealing with your father, with you. I had to come and I knew without help I couldn’t help but claim you.”

  “You want to avoid our bond so badly that you would use magic to stop it?” Could he hurt her any deeper? “Oh wait. You haven’t even had the Benedanti check me out for magic. You don’t even trust me.”

  “I don’t need them to check you out but they already did. The man on the porch when we got here wasn’t a wolf. He uses magic to give off that scent. He’s Benedanti and he cleared you.”

  She sucked in a breath. No wonder he’d made her nervous. “I hate you needed him to check me out more than you can know.”

  “Not me. The Guard and the King.”

  “The King?” she asked, appalled. “Our King knows about my father?”

  He nodded. “He’s Kole’s father-in-law. How could he not?”

  “They’ll kill my father for being a traitor. He can’t be a traitor.”

  “I know, which is why I need you to understand that I want you, Carmen. It’s against everything male and wolf in me to not claim you. No. It’s more than want. I need you, but we both know it’s me or your father and we both know you can’t live with that. And baby, I love you way too much to hurt you like that.”

  Her chest tightened. “You...love me?”

  “Yes. I love you. More than you can possibly know.”

  Tears, she hated tears, but they spilled from her eyes on their own accord and she knew why. She knew the truth. “I love you, too. I do. I don’t hate you. I can’t hate you. He’s not right, Shi. I know he’s not. I know....and I don’t want to lose him but I don’t want to lose you again, either.” Emotion overcame her, shaking her body, the tears pouring from deep in a hurtful spot inside her soul. She’d been destined to lose either Shi or her father since the day she’d lost her mother. Shi picked her up and she curled into him, welcoming his strength, his presence in her where he belonged.

  She glanced up at him, swiping at tears. “I need you, Shi. You can’t leave again. You can’t.”

  He sat down on a couch and settled her against the arm, her legs across his lap, gently swiping tears from her eyes. “We’ll find an answer.”

  She shook her head. “That’s not what I want to hear. Tell me you aren’t leaving again. Tell me we’ll deal with my father together and everything else from this point forward. Tell me you’ll help me try to save him.” She climbed on top of him, straddling him. “Tell me, Shi.”

  He wrapped his strong arms around her, laced his fingers at the back of her head, and rested his forehead against hers. “I can’t make a promise I can’t keep. I don’t know if he can be saved.”

  She pulled back at look at him. “If it’s magic eating him alive, then surely magic can save him. Surely, Nico has ties high enough in the Benedanti to go to someone ancient and powerful enough to save him. Just tell me we’ll try. It’s all I can ask, but I need you to mean it.”

  He slid his hand to her face, brushed his lips over hers. “I’d do anything for you, Carmen, but promise me you won’t get your hopes up.”

  “I won’t. I promise.” She pressed her mouth to his. “Thank you, Shi.”

  “You don’t have to thank me, Carm
en. Just don’t hate me if it doesn’t work out.”

  “I love you. I’m not going to stop loving you.”

  “Show me,” he murmured, shifting her so that she could feel his shaft pressing between her thighs. “Show me, Carmen.”

  She eased forward and took him inside her, sliding down his length, feeling him fill her, her arms wrapping his neck, their lips a breath apart. “How long does that mark on your hand last?”

  “Not long without more magic. A day, maybe two.” He rolled her to her back, settling over her. “Too long.”

  “Too long,” she whispered, before his mouth closed over hers, and the desperateness of two mates afraid they would never be one drove them over the edge.

  Chapter Seven

  “Damn it, Nico, this isn’t the answer,” Shi said, standing in the middle of the ranch’s kitchen that was technically owned by the Royal Guard. Shi was just using the place until Kole replaced the warehouse he and his mate had managed to get blown up. “She’s not going back there. The Rebels came after her.”

  “This is the best plan we have.”

  “What plan?” Carmen asked, appearing in the doorway.

  Shi gut tightened at the sight of her standing there, now dressed in the black jeans and t-shirt Nico’s mate had sent her, her red hair a wild silky mass of just-fucked-many-times glory that he wished wasn’t about to go away. He loved this woman too damn much to watch her tormented. “We don’t have a plan,” he said firmly, his gaze dropping to her hand where she held the folder he’d given her with evidence against her father.

  She held it up. “If it means undoing what my father might have done, Shi, whatever it is, I have to do it.”

  Shi cut Nico a hard look. “We don’t have a plan.”

  She stared at him, and then cut her gaze to Nico. “You want me to go back and spy on my father.” It wasn’t a question.

  “Yes,” Nico agreed. “Otherwise we can’t be sure he’ll tell us what we need to know.”